Shut The Hell Up With Your “FACEBOOK IS SHUTTING DOWN” Crap!

I’m sure most of you have Facebook. Everyone uses Facebook now, from college kids who slack in school (ie. moi) and/or have no non-internet life, to immature adolescent kids who just want to jump on the latest bandwagon, to older folks wanting to reconnect with past friends (or who want to act like they’re young again and are pretty creepy doing so).

That said, I’m also 100% positive that since around July, you’ve come across at least one Facebook group guilty of “the sky is falling!!!” behaviour. I’m talking about the lawsuit against Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of the best social networking site in the world (it’s gone a lot downhill, but it still trumps MySpace in every aspect), by a group of coders who claimed that Zuckerberg stole their idea for such a website. It was widely reported in the media for a very short bit, but it sent ripples - no make that tsunamis - of panic in the Facebook community. Aka, the stupid, gullible ones.

Seriously, whoever thinks that Facebook would shut down because of a lawsuit (not to mention an unfounded one) is a giant tool. Like the-rusty-tool-you-chuck-somewhere-in-your-shed-because-it’s-a-useless-piece-of-crap kind of tool. Firstly, assuming Zuckerberg lost ownership or financial control of Facebook, why the hell would it shut down?! This is a billion-dollar venture we’re talking. In English, that means that everyone has an interest to keep it going, no matter whose hands it’s in.

And even if Facebook does shut down, what are its members going to do about it? Oooh, petition, that’s certainly going to change minds! (Note: sarcasm.) Yes, those who would shut the site down will seriously consider the opinions of members, because they’re certainly not at all biased, being part of the site. (Okay, end sarcasm now.)

But it doesn’t seem like many people are smart enough to think that way, because a “petition to keep Facebook” group is the largest group in the entire site, with over one-and-a-half million members, and still unfortunately going strong. That means there are STILL idiots who are screaming about e-Judgement Day. A simple search of “save facebook” provides even well over a dozen (and I only looked at the first five or so pages of results) groups for that idiot cause (which really isn’t a cause, because there’s not an issue to begin with) that have more than a thousand members. Thus, based on guesstimates (I love this word), there are about two to three million people who deserve about the same amount of respect as people who consider dihydrogen monoxide a serious environmental issue on this planet.

So if you’re reading this, please do us all a favour and leave those inane groups (if you were gullible to join in the first place), and tell all your friends that they’re being stupid, too.

By the way, one of the main reasons why I’m frustrated about this (other than the fact that I see these groups EVERYWHERE and I get countless invites to these dumb groups) is that The Largest Facebook Group ever can’t live up to its title anymore. Adding insult to injury, this aforementioned group was trumped by a group that’s more ridiculous than Shoot ‘Em Up, starring Clive Owen. (Whether you liked the movie or not, you have to admit that it was ridiculous.)

Check out the FOLLOW-UP to this article!